Tuesday, September 7, 2010

咖啡馆鸡婆二三事

咖啡店一男一女

男咳嗽,无言。

女:你到底顾不顾身体?!你不为自己也该顾小孩啊!

男无言。

女:怎么?不说话?

男还是无言。上厕所。未几,回来。

女:刚才你叫什么吃的?

男咳嗽,还是无言。

女:我问你你当着听不到?你聋了啊你?!(@#*)*@#¥)@¥

男又上厕所,未几,回座。

女:喂!我在问你啊!你干吗不答?!胆生毛啊?!¥@#(¥⋯⋯—@*¥@

男:我…

女:我什么你!讲不出?吃什么也讲不出?@(#@*#@(#@¥

男:我…我叫鸡…

女的柳眉倒竖:你好啊你!你以为你是鸡王啊你?!@#(¥)*@!(#

男的脸红得连耳根象樱桃,头低低的,含糊的:鸡…扒。

女的头发突然膨胀起来,音调提高八度:什么鸡巴鸡巴的!一家大小去家乡鸡,你独个儿就去马杀鸡,上网只会找网鸡,跟你的猪朋狗友喝酒谈鸡,跟我吃饭还要叫鸡!你以为你鸡巴大啊你!

这时全场肃静,雀鸦无声,男的起身就走,女的还在高声喊。

侍者一时情急:先生!先生!你的鸡巴不要了?

Saturday, September 4, 2010

低俗•无赖

最近红的不得了的两个人,一个是人称“颠马”的伽马,一个是“不爱国”的黄明志。

他们出了事,大家都在议论纷纷,其中一些人的言论让人觉得写的人是圣人。

伽马,为人如何,平时言论如何,是不是擦鞋上位,或者是妖言惑众都不关我事。他可以做他要做的,只要法律允许。至于所作所为和他的宗教有没有冲突就让真主跟他算账,也不关我们事。

那为什么有那么多的人要批判他?

要是人人都不喜欢他,他怎么搞也搞不出什么花样。

黄明志写的歌,好不好听,文雅或者粗俗,你爱听就听,不喜欢吗?为何又要听?听了又要骂?

他的歌粗俗?器官满场飞?你不喜欢那你又听?你没听过的话,又怎么知道粗俗?

要是人人写歌唱歌都要“高雅端庄”,这世界还有什么乐趣可言?

他的歌粗俗,那我们这些写白话、口语话的人,岂不也是粗俗?是不是个个都要之乎者也才能发表己见?

若是如此,十年前和十年后的今天,教导我们这一代和我们下一代什么是“肛交”Sodomy就差没有图文并茂的媒体、大官们,为何没人说他们粗俗?为什么不用优雅的“断袖之癖”来取代粗俗的“肛交”?

这些批判的人,为何没有为文批判??

原来批判也得看对象、看地位、看对方口袋有没有钱、手上有没有权?

Friday, September 3, 2010

你能不能帮忙?


今天收到人事部主管的信,说一位槟城的前同事的女儿急需筹款进行手术。

希望读到这贴文的,有钱出钱,将消息散播出去。

先在这里谢了。




----
以下是信的内容:

Dear All,
Our ex-colleague from PST-Penang, Ms Pamela Tan's daughter has "Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia" and she needs S$500,000 more to do the double cord blood transplant in Singapore. She needs help to raise fund for the transplant.
Kindly assist if you can on "personal or company" and you can also forward it to your friends or relatives. All donations can be given via her link or direct to her bank account highlighted in red.
Thanks & Rgds
Catherine


From: pamtbl@hotmail.com
To:
Subject: Help Needed
Date: Mon, 30 Aug 2010 08:16:06 +0000

Help Needed

by Lyn Si on Wednesday, August 4, 2010 at 4:01pm

Dear friends,
Please come forward to save a life.
I am Quah Lyn Si, currently living in Penang, Malaysia. In December 2008 we learned from our doctor with total shock and utter surprise that I am diagnosed of Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia, T cell. I had been on aggressive chemotherapy until now and transplant is my best and possibly only chance of cure. I am 18 years old.

Dr Koh Liang Pui from National University Hospital, Singapore has agreed to do double cord blood transplant for me. A double cord blood transplant is the only option that can cure me. But only a small number of fortunate people who have the ability can be treated using this approach. Cost for double cord blood transplant in the Singapore is estimated to cost SP$1,000,000 for pre and post transplant care. The expenses for transplant are too high to be borne by us. My dad's company is willing to pay SP$500,000. We are now raising funds for the other SP$500,000.

We kindly seek your assistance to help save my life to live a normal life in the world. We sincerely hope that you will be able to help raise some funds for us to cover the cost of treatment and transplant in Singapore. All donation can be made through Pay Pal – Donation section at my blog,
Link
or you can donate to us through this account:
Quah Teik Huat/ Quah Lyn Si
Malayan Banking BHD
acc no:
107135-148912

Regards,

Pamela

"Nam myoho renge kyo is like the roar of a lion, what illness can therefore be an obstacle"

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Merdeka celebration - I have a dream


Martin Luther King, Jr.

"I Have a Dream"



delivered 28 August 1963, at the Lincoln Memorial, Washington D.C.






[AUTHENTICITY CERTIFIED: Text version below transcribed directly from audio. (2)]

I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.

Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.

But one hundred years later, the Negro still is not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languished in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. And so we've come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.

In a sense we've come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the "unalienable Rights" of "Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note, insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check, a check which has come back marked "insufficient funds."

But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. And so, we've come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice.

We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of Now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children.

It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. And those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. And there will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.

But there is something that I must say to my people, who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice: In the process of gaining our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again, we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.

The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to a distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny. And they have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom.

We cannot walk alone.

And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead.

We cannot turn back.

There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as the Negro is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality. We can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the negro's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as our children are stripped of their self-hood and robbed of their dignity by signs stating: "For Whites Only." We cannot be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until "justice rolls down like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream."¹

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. And some of you have come from areas where your quest -- quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive. Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to South Carolina, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed.

Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you today, my friends.

And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of "interposition" and "nullification" -- one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together."2

This is our hope, and this is the faith that I go back to the South with.

With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

And this will be the day -- this will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning:

My country 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing.

Land where my fathers died, land of the Pilgrim's pride,

From every mountainside, let freedom ring!

And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true.

And so let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire.

Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York.

Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania.

Let freedom ring from the snow-capped Rockies of Colorado.

Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California.

But not only that:

Let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia.

Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee.

Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi.

From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

And when this happens, when we allow freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual:

Free at last! Free at last!

Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!3

Friday, August 27, 2010

I'm Razak, Abdul Razak the Great!

In case you've forgotten the way James Bond introduces himself:

I'm Bond, James Bond..

And now, we have, well, not quite James Bond, he is not as handsome and fit. Not quite a high profile spy but certainly spent plenty of our taxpayer's ringgit as James Bond for his awesome appearance and performance.

His is none other then........ ABDUL RAZAK, the Abdul Razak who strangled himself in the open court with video footage which AG Chamber delayed to put online.

Ladies and gentlemen, can we please welcome the new Super Comedy Star from our esteem AG Chamber, Encik Abdul Razak.......

(A friendly reminder: Please do not eat or drink during the entire video as you may be choked to death and we may need to have a Royal Commission to investigate your sudden pass away)

Sit tight, have a good time



Wednesday, August 25, 2010

雪人怎么不见了?

雪人怎麼不見了
雪人怎麼不見了
雪人只有手 沒有腳
讓他怎麼跑
雪人只怕太陽照
太陽一出雪就消
雪人不會喊呀不會叫呀
太陽出來它就自己融化掉
雪人原來不堅牢
只怕太陽照
太陽一出雪就消
雪人不見了
雪人怎麼不見了
雪人原來不堅牢
雖然他也有頭呀也有腦呀
那太陽出來他就自己不能保

Sunday, August 22, 2010

A Good Sunday reading

Perhaps you may have your weekend planned.

But if you can spare some 15 minutes to read the following article, and spend a little while to digest, I bet you'll be a better person, trust me.

Let's waste no time: